Everyone seems to be going through a breakup at the moment…well that’s according to TikTok lol. Breakups are one of the hardest things to overcome mentally. Having someone be such a big part of your life for a period of time, long or short term, is difficult. Now, if you’re part of the daddy issues gang, letting go can be very hard. I am now in a position to advise you guys who are struggling as I can finally say I’ve let go of it. The healing journey can be long or short. It’s different depending on the circumstances and neither is right or wrong. In this blog, I’ll be sharing 6 ways to level up after a breakup that has helped me to keep growing and enjoy the journey.
1. Take time to grieve and accept
The first step is taking the time to grieve your person. Don’t run from your emotions. Sit with the uncomfortable feeling. Take the time to grieve because, after all, it is a form of grievance. They are no longer in your life and it’s a painful thing to understand. Cry as many times as you need, go to an anger room where you can bash up the place or sit on the sofa in a blanket and cry. Allow yourself to sit with the pain. Don’t push it under because it will just interfere with future relationships. Once you’ve allowed time to grieve, you automatically slip into the acceptance phase where you understand and know that it happened for a reason. At this stage, my friend, that’s where the true level-up after a breakup begins.
2. Start prioritising yourself
Make yourself the priority. No more excuses. Always look out for yourself. Sometimes, you have to be ‘selfish’ otherwise you’ll constantly fill other people’s buckets while yours dries out. When you hear these powerful words like ‘you can’t love somebody else until you learn to love yourself’. Listen to it! It’s crazy how true it is. By putting yourself first, you open yourself up to your toxic traits that could have impacted the relationship. So it allows you to change and learn from your behaviour.
3. Practise self-care
I talk a lot about self-care in my blogs. It could be starting with a self-care day: https://asharakha.com/self-care-day-on-a-budget-asha-rakha/ or even starting your morning with the correct mindset: https://asharakha.com/morning-ritual-that-will-change-your-life/
You could make it a weekly thing where you spend the whole day doing whatever you want. Or you could take small ideas like going for a morning walk, going to the gym, or reading 5 pages of a book into your everyday life. Again, this links in with prioritising yourself. It’s so important to dedicate time to you and it is much easier to do when you are single.
4. Spend time with people that make you feel alive
Spend time with people you love and those that love you. I.e your friends, family, pets etc… whoever lifts your spirits. You should leave their company feeling better. If you leave feeling drained and tired, they aren’t the right people to be surrounding yourself with. Any true friend will be there for you with open arms. I know one big thing that helped me was going out with the girls and going on long, therapeutic, evening drives and singing our hearts out to SZA with a bubble tea in hand (obvs).
5. Put effort into how you look, speak and hold yourself
This is the perfect time to show up as who you want to be. You can lose your identity after a breakup, especially if it ended badly. Learn not to compare yourself with others and focus on improving outside elements you want to work on. Go to the gym, eat healthier, start a new skincare routine, buy new clothes or change your hair. Remember change is good as long as you are showing up as you are! We can all agree, when you make an effort, your confidence levels go to 100%. It makes us feel good and you definitely can feel the level up.
6. Find a new hobby
Something you enjoy doing and would do for free…painting, walking, volunteering etc.. anything that can fill the time up and change your focus from them to this. However, something that makes you truly happy because a quick reminder, you aren’t running from the pain. You are finding something to shift your focus on in a positive way. For instance, I took up a Yoga class that I had wanted to do for so long and my breakup gave me the perfect reason to do it. There are alternatives too. For instance, doing yoga at home. Here’s the youtube video I used to practise beginner-friendly yoga:
Some final words to conclude this blog, and the most important: as long as you follow a few of the steps listed above, you’ll come to the conclusion that time is the biggest healer for a broken heart. Mine was a very complicated and messy breakup where we had no choice but to never contact each other again. Although a long time has passed, I worked on myself and allowed myself to feel every emotion. I’m healed and I understand it happened for a reason and I couldn’t be happier. Be brave and remember anything that isn’t meant for you, will never slip away. Sometimes people are supposed to be in your life temporarily but not forever and that’s okay. You live, you learn and you move on.
Let me know if this helped you in the comment section below.
Love,
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