Hello, hello ❤️
Hands up, have you ever talked yourself out of something before you’ve even given yourself the chance to try? Or in more relatable words, because you “don’t feel ready or it’s not the right time?”
Yet again, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. Whether it’s in relationships, work or daily life. I never knew how to stop overthinking. Every possible outcome would run through my head, and then I’d get put off and not act on anything. Then one day, I sat in the botanical gardens near home with just my pen and journal and did some deep reflection work. I realised everything I had in my life was because I acted and eventually stopped overthinking. Well, today, ladies and gentlemen, I am sharing top-tier access into the f*ck it mindset. This really does get you through life and helps pave a way for some of the hardest decisions.
What is the f*ck it mindset?
Well, it’s pretty self-explanatory. But it’s important to know it’s not about being careless or silly with your decisions. Learning how to stop overthinking isn’t about being fearless either; it’s just about changing the way you respond to fear. Refusing to let fear drive your decisions. It’s all about backing yourself before you have the material proof that it will work. If you really want something, why are you holding yourself back? Immediate confidence boost, trust me. It’s about choosing courage over staying comfortable or ‘settling’ for something you don’t feel you should be settling for. Now, when I talk about this, I mean that little voice in your head that is pissed off if you settle. It’s completely okay to do so, but it’s for those who know deep down that they can actually have more and there’s an opportunity presenting itself, offering greater things.
Most of us will allow that opportunity to slip out of fear and lack of confidence. This is where the f*ck it mindset comes in handy. There’s something so satisfying about screaming it to yourself before you do the action. It drives power; I can’t explain it.
One of the best ways I’ve learnt to stop overthinking is to reframe the question. Instead of thinking, ‘What if I fail?’ why don’t you change it to ‘What if it works out?’. Let that excitement of it working out and the words ‘f*ck it* drive you to take the step required. Life is far too short to sit and wait for things to happen. The more you understand that, the more you begin to push away fear. Fear robs dreams. It’s a normal human emotion, but you have to learn how to control it so it doesn’t dictate your life.
A top tip for using the f*ck it mindset is to combine it with something childish. For me, I find jumping around on the spot and shaking off any nerves and anxiety and repeating the words several times in my head does the job. For some, it could be to press the send button and scream after or to throw the phone on the couch. Do what works for you.
Moments that changed my life
I have so many real-life examples of when the f*ck it mindset has shaped my life. We could be here all day. But I’ll pick a couple of my favourite ones.
For many of you reading, you know I founded Model Mindset. It had been an idea for a while, and I would scribble all the notes and ideas down in a notebook. I had no issue building it up ready to launch, but when it came to launching it, my head was full of voices and limiting beliefs. I couldn’t stop overthinking. All of the reasons why I shouldn’t launch it clouded my mind despite working so hard on it for over a year. I remember pacing constantly and telling myself f*ck it just do it. Finally, I hyped myself up, and I pressed launch, and the ebook went live. I received my first sale with incredible feedback.
Now, over a year later, I have hosted live workshops with guest lists that have filled up in a way I could have never imagined. All because I took that brave move and shared it. I could have easily backed out of it and forgotten about it; that’s how strong my thoughts were. But I thought no, there’s one thing greater here: I can share and educate models on something I am so passionate about. I was terrified to release it, but I did it, and it has paid off.
Another example is signing a modelling contract in NYC. It had been a dream of mine for years. I had agents tell me it was a difficult market for shorter girls and that my material wasn’t strong enough yet. So, of course, I couldn’t stop overthinking the outcome, and for years I let those opinions determine my choices. Deep down, I knew it was something I wanted, but I never did anything about it.
Years went by until one day I realised I needed to stop waiting for things to happen and take the action myself. One summer’s day, I geared myself up to contact a few agents. Before pressing send, I was literally jumping on the spot like a two-year-old, shouting, “F*ck it!” until I finally hit the button. Within an hour, I had multiple positive responses and contract offers.
To think this took me years to do…
There’s no feeling that matches taking an action step that feels terrifying and so uncomfortable and watching it pay off. You’re on a different kind of high.
The problem with waiting until you’re ready
If you’re waiting until you stop overthinking, you’ll be waiting forever. The problem is, you’ll never be ‘ready’. If you’re in that mindset, you’ll always find an excuse as to why you aren’t ready to take action. Some things definitely do have a time factor, but most of the time, it’s procrastination that’s putting you off taking the next step. And that’s when you need to adapt the f*ck it mindset.
Confidence is built from taking action. When you get the responses you want, your confidence boosts; when you overcome something difficult, your confidence also boosts. These all require you to take that step. If you’re at a standstill, this won’t happen; you’ll just end up eating away at your self-esteem.
Every successful person made a start before they knew what they were doing. You make it up as you go. That’s the fun; there’s no exact route to go down. Something that works for one won’t always work for you. Take your own route and stay in your lane.
I wrote a blog on overcoming rejection; try out some of the exercises I shared on there, as that can help you control the fear and limiting beliefs.
How to adopt the f*ck it mindset
Start small; I’m not saying go ahead and quit your job. Start small to build the confidence and self-belief. Go back to your routes. First you are going to figure out what it is exactly that you want to change or the outcome you want on something. You are then going to find a few key action steps to get you there.
Do this in a mind map form, bullet points or whatever works for you.
Examples
You’re tired of your job. You feel like you need a change, but you haven’t got anything lined up. Now your two action steps could be start browsing for jobs available and shortlist ones you like and get that damn application done. Yes, it takes some effort and a lot of time, but think of the reward if you get it.
Or maybe it’s you wanting to join a dance class, but you’re terrified and don’t feel confident doing it in front of others. You keep telling yourself you’ll book one when you look or feel better. Go on that link and press book, jump on the spot and scream f*ck it. Before going in for class, even on the transport down, you are just going to keep repeating “f*ck it I’m gonna to do it”.
Whatever it is, just do it. It doesn’t matter how big or small the action is. Just get it done.
Another huge tip for adopting the f*ck it mindset to drive action is stripping back to the ground. What I mean by this is, what can you implement in your daily routines to help make this a little easier?
For me, it’s getting dressed up and sitting at my desk. If I feel the part, I’ll feel more inclined to take action.
Final thoughts
Looking back, every chapter of my life began and will continue to begin with 2 words. F*ck it. The best moments came when I stopped overthinking and just went for it.
And as much as decision-making and shooting your shot is scary, personally I believe it’s scarier to stay feeling trapped and unsatisfied.
Let me know what you think of this blog in the comments below.
Love,
Discover more from Asha Rakha
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